Why is it that, without fail, whenever you go home on a train at any time of the day with any sort of booze on you or in you, you always run into your students? Is this some sort of law that I am unaware of? What is going on here? It was Sunday night for God's sake, and I saw five of them on the train home.

Me (to myself): oh no oh no, is that Fujimitsuwhatshisface? It is. Aw damn, I'm wasted too. Maybe he won't see me.

(I, the six foot three red-headed godzilla, commence trying to be inconspicuous. Often by looking stupidly out of the window at nothing.)

Student: HEEEEEEYYYYYYY BRAD SENSEI!!!!!!!!!

Me: dammit.

Student: BRAD SENSEI! DRINKU? SAKE?!!

Me: haha. No, no. Go home children, ok?

Student: BRAD SENSEI SAKE?!!! OOOOOKKKKK!!! SAKE!!!!!

Me: No no, no sake, see you on Monday. Be safe. heh.


Without fail. I do not understand it. The problem clearly is that the kids are always coming or going to school in this country. If young people are ever going anywhere in Japan, it is either to or from school. Of course they are going to see me coming home on a Sunday with my head in my hands, reeking of smoke and Axe body spray. It really shouldn't surprise me anymore, but it does.

This weekend we went to a bar called Deniro, devoted (believe it or not) to Robert De Niro. The barstaff all wore various De Niro movie print shirts and there was an Andy Warhol-esque De Niro montage displayed prominently on one of the walls. A lot of Japanese bars have wierd-ass themes and are devoted to very strange cultural niches that I don't understand...This was not one of them. De Niro deserves his own bar. I was reminded of a bar we used to go to in Brighton called Ocean Rooms that also prominently featured Robert De Niro. There is something about the guy that inspires a party attitude; a party attitude with an attitude. If there is still a question in anybody's mind as to why this might be, I suggest that they watch Heat. That should just about clear everything up.

I have received a lot of mixed reviews about my recent blogs; some people, apparently, think I bitch too much. I wish I could talk to these people, but the horse that they are on is just too high. (SLAM!) There are also some people who rave wildly about my entries, almost like they were speaking in tongues. Those that don't like the bitching confuse me, because what else are blogs for? Does anybody really want to hear about how great someone's life is? Not this kid, I want complaining, it's funnier that way. In fact, I have recently noticed several things that, if they don't flat out annoy me, are at least very silly, and that I run into on a regular basis out here. Here they are, in no particular order:


1. Men That Wear Shoes That Curl Up At The Toe Like Elf Slippers.

What are we trying to do here Cinderella? Are you off to the ball? Shall I call the the Coach? Perhaps you are going to debate with the other Landed Gentry of the House of Lords and it's 1850. Or perhaps you are a showboating chump; I dunno-I am not a doctor. Only two dudes can pull of that look: Brad Pitt and Dan Siniwat. Otherwise: no go.


2. People Who Use "ne" At The End Of Sentences In English.

For the very vast majority of you who neither know nor care one wit about the Japanese language, the word "ne" is pretty much the same as saying "right?" at the end of a sentence. Like "That wasn't you that pissed in my trashcan, right?" or "We probably shouldn't stick our fingers in that, right?" Anywho, a lot of kids like to show that they know Japanese by sticking it in at the end of sentences in English, like "It was a fun night, ne?" or "You should wipe that dried spit off your face, ne?" This is not cool. I can't explain why. It's just not. Everyone I know has been guilty of this at one point, even me. Well, no, not me. I have never done this. But everyone else has, and they should stop it. Except chicks. Chicks can do anything they want.


3. Anime.

What is with that shit? Anybody? Bueller?



4. Over-posed photos.

Case in point:

Who the fuck do I think I am? James Dean? What a pansy. Seriously...