I can't tell you how many times I've wondered to myself, or asked aloud in exasperation, "where the hell are all of the young people in this town?" I look around myself downtown and all I see are old people. Old people wandering about the jelly sections of the supermarkets, old people riding those three-wheeled, idiot-proof granny bikes. Whats the deal, right?

Then I heard some disturbing news. The 2nd and 3rd year Jets told me that Toyama was a place where the young kids either marry early or they leave, they said that a full 1/4 of the population in this town is over sixty. OVER SIXTY! You would think that all the rain we get here would inflame their frail elderly joints.

I didn't really believe it up until a week or so ago when I saw evidence of this disturbing "get hitched or get out" trend first hand.

I had been in Uozo for the night, going to karaoke clubs and blowing hard earned money like a fool, when I looked up and all of the sudden it was 3am. My friend Jake turned to me and in a heavily slurred, Birmingham accent, said "we're going to go home, you can crash on my floor." I agreed, but by the time we got to his place it was 3:45, and its always at about 3:45 in the morning when I start to weigh my options as to whether or not to catch that first 6am train. I was on the fence until about seven more JETs came stumbling in to the 8 by 10 apartment, threw themselves loudly onto the floor, and fell right asleep over every inch of the room. It was now 4am. I looked about myself. Every single person had fallen asleep in less than four minutes.

Me: Hello?

No real answer. Seven people grumble drunkenly.

Me: Hello? Anyone awake?

Silence.

Me: Uhm, I think I'm gonna catch that 6am train, ok?

Silence.

Me: Thanks for the offer to crash though, Jake.

Silence.

Me: Ok, fun night guys, talk to you later.

Silence.

I got up and left the room.

It was raining lightly outside, and I had about an hour and a half to kill, so I walked about Uozo, got a coffee and some noodles in one of the 24 hour convenience stores, and was waiting comfortably at the station when these two hammered japanese kids come in. Amazingly, they look to be about my age. Naturally, they see me, and move right over to talk.

Me: Hi guys, how are you?
Drunk Japanese Kid: EHHHHH!! How are you! Good!
Me: You been drinking tonight?
Drunk Japanese Kid: Drink, Drink! Good! (rests his head on my shoulder)
Me: Ohhkay. Are you catching the 6am train too?
Drunk Japanese Kid: American?
Me: American.
At which point the Japanese Kid reaches for my package. And I'm not talking about the kind of package you get in the mail, I'm talking my balls and dong.

Me: Whoaaa, alright buddy. Eaaasy.
Drunk Japanese Kid: Come meet my wife.
Me: Excuse me?
Drunk Japanese Kid: Wife.
Me: How old are you?
Drunk Japanese Kid: 24. (He takes me by the hand and pulls me outside to a waiting minivan.)

I look inside the minivan and lo and behold, there is a tiny little japanese girl in her pajamas, waiting dutifully to pick up her wasted husband at five in the morning. I didn't know whether to be sad, or to laugh, or to tell her that her hubby just grabbed at my shlong. Instead I just said, "hi there, nice to meet you." She smiled in an awkward and sleepy way. I told them all goodbye, and went back into the station. Shortly thereafter my train arrived. I got home at 7am, once again.

Strange? I thought so, until I remembered the words of the vetrans: "you get married, or you get out."

What a town.