When i was in elementary school, we would all gather around in music class and squeak out "If I Had A Hammer" about once a week, in our singing time. You all know the song, it elaborates on what the singer would do to the world if he or she had various tools. A hammer would hammer in the morning, hammering out love between everyone. A bell would do the same, etc. etc. all over this land. You get the picture. How the hell do i remember that, you ask? Well, I never would have if I hadn't had such an uncanny reminder of my childhood today in one of my classes. We sang another such song, one that the teacher thought the students might be able to catch because its lyrics were so slow. (Yes, the lyrics are very slow, and no, not one of the students really got it.) What song is this, might you ask? No, it was not Bang a Gong by T. Rex, although that would have been awesome.

It was From A Distance. By Bette Midler. As if the children didn't already have trouble staying awake.

Did you ever stop to think about the lyrics of that song? No? Well thats probably a good thing. I had to, because I've heard it three times today, and two more before that.

From a distance you look like my friend
Even though we are at war.
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
What all this fighting's for.

What the hell is that supposed to mean? That everything looks peachy from far away? That your friends are really your enemies up close? That while you can't comprehend the fighting from far away, you damn sure understand it close up? What are you trying to tell me Bette?

One things for sure, there was a little classroom full of Japanese students this morning in Toyama that had absolutely no idea what was going on, nor why Bette was lulling them softly to sleep with her talk of marching in a common band.