Apparently, every year the Toyama Jets do some sort of variety hour for charity. I know nothing about this except that there is a play involved, and that they need actors. It is a musical number. So, being the musical buff that I am (cough) I decided to sign up expressing interest in a part.

Today a man named Tim Lindenschmidt emailed me in response. This is what he said

What I'd like from you is the following:
Name:
Acting Experience:
Talent/Thing you want to do (in the play):


This was my response, word for word.

Let's see, acting experience, acting experience...

Well, in middle school I played a part called "Felix the Feeling Finder" in a play, but I forgot the name of the play. Honest to God.

Also, when I was very little I would record myself like I was on a talk show. With myself. I was about seven at the time.

Let's see, acting experience...

Oh! In 8th grade my class did a wicked civil war re-enactment of the battle of Antietam. I was a Union soldier, of course. We had an amateur film crew film it for our parents. The re-enactment took all day, but the whole thing was cut into about 20 minutes. I, however, made the cut because of a particularly well-acted death scene I did in which I threw myself down a hill. It was glorious. In fact, I think the soundtrack was "battle hymn of the republic."

Thats about it for acting experience, unless you count my entire life now, which is one big fucking sitcom while I'm here.

What would I like to do in the play? Well, if it is at all possible, I would like to shoot a flaming arrow over a giant butane torch, exactly like they did to start the 1992 Winter Olympics in Barcelona.

Failing that, I could do a wicked death scene (see above).

Thank you.
-Brad

Here's to hoping I catch that big break.